What The Desert Taught Me

 

Hi everyone and welcome back to The Selfish Column. I just wanted to start this blog post by stating my gratitude for all of the love and the support all of you have shown me throughout the years. This blog has been such a safe haven for me but keeping up with it has shown to be very difficult (Let’s just say life is a B******). I understand that this is not an excuse for those that dedicate their time to show up and read because I truly appreciate the love. Consistency is what you deserve and consistency is something I will prioritize. In my head, we’re like happy hour friends that are always ready for a good time over $5 cocktails. So, thank you again and much love from me to you.

Alright, now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk. This year was definitely the most adventurous year of my adult life. I started the year by heading to New York for Fashion Week, Cabo San Lucas for my best friend’s Bachelorette, Jamaica for my older sister’s wedding, L.A for some relaxation in the hills of Malibu, and Toronto and Windsor, Ontario for two of my best friends’ weddings. I did all of this while trying to get settled into living alone and getting my place together (but that’s a story for another time).

It has been an incredible year for me that was filled with blessings. I got to see three important women in my life marry the love of their lives; And as they go on to this new journey I want to wish them a lifetime of happiness, love, and growth.

As for yours truly, the woman I was a year ago would have not considered driving hours into the desert and bypass a chance to see the glamour of Los Angeles. Truthfully, I didn’t even believe that I would be happy in the desert. Let’s be real “shit” was hotter than hell, I may be African born and raised, but that heat was nothing like I have ever experienced. Yet the desert possessed a sense of peacefulness and quietness I did not know I needed at the time. That trip was the most magical trip and experience I had so far. I was out of my comfort zone, but I was happy and given the opportunity I would do it a thousand times over.

 

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“I’ma keep running cause a winner don’t quit on themselves”
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Let’s just hope there is dietary benefits to sand, cause I ate enough of it that day.
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“You’ll find my footprints in the sand”

 

So, my friends I wanted to share these moments with you so you can have the courage to get out of your comfort soon, even a little like I did. Seek new adventures and new memories or take a big leap and seek out that job you always wanted. Whatever that leap might be for you at this moment take charge and see how life rewards you.

 

Thank you for stopping by The Selfish Column and getting this far. Until next time selfish readers.

 

~S.C~

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Four Shameless Tips You Need While Living Alone

Hello everyone and welcome back to The Selfish Column. Hope all is going great in your lives as always.  As you can see the topic for today is for all my single living peeps!!!. Recently I spoke to a few people in my life that are currently living on their own and shared some really fun and interesting ideas on how we manage this new sense of freedom… ish?!! .

So how do I get my motivation back once the laziness hit, how do I stay productive throughout the day you ask?. Well, look no further at the list provided below.

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1. Don’t feel guilty if you are not big on grocery shopping:

Three trips a week to the grocery store is better than one giant one that has items you didn’t use go bad. The reason why I stress this is because I used to feel like I needed to go to the grocery store and buy everything possible because in my head that’s what adults do. But I learned very quickly that I was wasting a shit ton of money with that kind of mentality.

2. Don’t feel rushed into getting your home together all at once:

When I first got the place to myself, I had all these expectations of my home. I kept telling myself that my space had to be a certain way at a certain time before anyone can enter. Once I took a step back and let things fall into place, I was able to enjoy the process without rushing or breaking the bank. The space I took between actually purchasing things and bringing them into my place allowed me to come across really amazing sales.

3. Figure out what budget works for you and write everything down:

Things can get lost quickly if you do not pay attention to your spending. I speak this to you as I continue to struggle to find my own balance at times. Budgeting does not mean that once it’s written down that it’s set in stone. As long as you don’t plan to stay stagnant in your current life, your budget can always grow.

4. Give yourself one day a week or even a month that is dedicated to administration:

I learned this from an amazing blogger and friend Justine Celine. This woman is so full of wisdom when it comes to this blog thing. Once I decided to take this challenge on with my emails, I started incorporating it to my everyday life. this included things such as making list for house stuff, making appointments, and returning calls from family and friends. Pretty much anything you feel fit in your life to keep the wheels going can be put on the list.

The one thing I can leave with you is to remember that you can’t put a price tag on your peace of mind. What works for you may not work for someone else.

Thank you for stopping by The Selfish Column, I can’t wait to hear all of your thoughts.

 

~S.C~

Galentine’s Day With La Marca Prosecco

Hey everyone and welcome back to The Selfish Column. Can you believe it is Valentine’s Day? Who doesn’t love “LOVE”!!! Better yet who doesn’t love sharing the love with everyone around them?. This year, I decided not only to celebrate Valentine’s Day but also share Galentine’s Day with my girls. What’s Galentine’s Day you ask? Well, it’s the day before V-Day; where you and your lovely girls treat each other to a day of fun, laughter, and DRINKS!! This year with the help of La Marca Prosecco I and my lovely ladies took the morning by a storm. We woke up to a lovely pancake breakfast and some good old Mimosa (what more can a girl ask for).

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The day was spend sipping on some yummy bubbles, and taking in the sugar high from the cupcakes. (Remember sugar, spice, and everything Nice- (bet you can’t complete the phrase).

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Who said girls can’t have fun while getting ready. Honestly, this morning was perfect, I haven’t laughed this hard and enjoyed Prosecco like I did. La Marca really came through for the kid. If you know me, you know Prosecco is not usually my go to, but with how tasty, light and smooth it was, it made for such a great start to my morning and afternoon. The great thing about this Prosecco ladies and gents, it can transition greatly throughout any event you have during the day.

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Did I mention this bottle is smooooth, I mean like smoother than a fresh perm!!! Hahhhhah.  Really though the bubbles are persistent which goes perfectly with the crisp finish it adds to your taste palate.

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This is the perfect bottle not only for a day like Galentine’s Day, but any other occasion coming up in your life. The year is still young and there are plenty of events to be celebrated, so why not pick up a bottle of La Marca Prosecco for the occasion.

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As always thank you for stopping by and getting this far into the post. A special thanks to the girls that came to spend this Galantine’s Day with me.  I am forever at aww with the love and dedication I receive every day from all the amazing women in my life. Today was just the tip of my lifelong celebrations with so many of you.

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~S.C~

5 Tips to Manage Your Student Loan Debt

Welcome back to The Selfish Column everyone, hope all is well in your world of adulting. As you can tell by the title today we are talking about that “wonderful” thing called student loan. And by wonderful I mean that life-sucking nightmare that gives false investment into your future (lol where is the lie though… RIGHT).  If you live in North America and have ever set your mind on a post-secondary education, you may have noticed the expensive price tag that comes with this decision. Don’t get me wrong, investing in your future is an incredible thing and so is continuously educating yourself.

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A little About My College/University Journey

During my college years, I was living with my parents while working the weekends and summer days to pay for my classes. Living at home helped minimize my expenses while paying for school.  After graduating my college program,  I went straight to the third year of my university program and took out my first loan.  When it came time to pay it off I struggled with it because not only did I move away from home but I went back to school without informing student loan. Honestly, I did not know how to go about paying this. I fell behind and pretended that my loan didn’t exist, but that didn’t last long. Eventually, I took control of the situation and started slow. I decided to take a look at my interest rate and my income tax returns.  The best course of action for me at the time was to give my tax return back to the government. It wasn’t easy to give this cash up because tax season is always around my birthday and the reality of no more extra birthday cash was saddening ( no more stunting with my returns hahahahahah).  But I had to remind myself constantly that I lived without the income tax return money for a year and managed to survive just fine. After all, being out of debt is far more important in the long run.  So without further or do, please see below my basic tips on managing your student loan.

Tips:

1. Check when tuition is due for each semester:

This is good if you pay your own classes. This gives you time to save up and pay slowly toward your classes. I did this while in college, I made a point to treat it like a monthly bill and visited the registrar office each month to pay off a large sum.

2. Save a portion of your grants and or bursaries:

With a student loan, you get things such a grants and scholarships, I know it is money you don’t have to pay back but that doesn’t mean you can’t use a portion of it towards your student loan. 

3. Use a portion of your income tax to pay a large amount:

Most students use their income tax return as extra money to go on trips— But if you divide accordingly, you will be able to enjoy more of it in the long run.

4. Always pay on top of your interest rate:

But most importantly always AlWAYS pay on time.

5. Build a relationship with the agent that holds your account:

Call the office and find out who is assigned to your account because having a strong and honest relationship with your agent can work in your favor. Keeping them in the loop of your financial situation can avoid your account being forwarded to collections and receiving those debt collector calls that we all hate.

Thank you for getting to this point and reading the whole post. I hope you found these tips to be helpful in your student career. Some of these tips I learned from personal experience and the rest I found afterward that I thought would be useful. If you enjoy this blog post please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts on it.

Have a great week everyone.

~S.C~

Back To School Makeup Essentials For The Girl On A Budget– Dark Skin Addition.

Hi everyone and welcome back to The Selfish Column. I know what you’re all thinking, where the heck have I been? Truthfully, there is no excuse other than I have been living and working. I want to first say thank you to everyone that has supported me thus far and continue to support me on all my social media outlets. As you can see from the title I am here to talk about my everyday makeup guide. Please know that what works for me may not work for you. To be honest I was not planning to write about this seeing how I have always talked about my lack of makeup skills (I wasn’t trying to get roasted ya’ll —- The internet is savage)…….. BUT since a number of you guys have asked me to talk about the basics for my on the go look, of course, I had to share. Ironically, my favorite items are mostly drugstore products which I find gives me that finished look. I have listed my favourite six items below.

Drugstore Makeup List:

 

 

 

 Essence Waterproof Brown Eyeliner in the Color 02 But First, Espresso: 
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I actually use this to color on my eyebrows before I highlight them. This works for my eyebrow hairs compared to other darker colors and blends well with my skin. Believe it or not, I also use this to highlight my cheekbones and my nose when I feel like being fancy on a budget (It’s real out here people LOL).

 

Essence Kajal Pencil in the Color 01 Black:  
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I use this color for my eyeliner. For my skin tone, this is a perfect black eyeliner. It is dark enough when I first apply it without the need to go over my eyelids twice. You definitely get more use from this product because you don’t have to apply it over and over again for it to show. When I say it’s black it’s BLACK ladies… (cue Tupac).
 

Rimmel London Scandal Eyes Mascara:

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This mascara works wonders on my none existent eyelashes. This mascara is dual sided and not only volumizes my lashes but lengthens them as well. Listen if you know the struggles of these lashes of my mine, this is a miracle mascara.
Essence Longlasting Lipstick in the Color 28:
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I just love nude lipstick, how can you not. Nude color lips are so easy to transition from day to night and goes well with any outfit. This lipstick is so long lasting that I find that I can get away with applying it once. As a woman with such “voluptuous” lips, I find that this color enhances this feature without overdoing it. This is not your typical nude color lipstick only because it has a very brown undertone. This color comes out very natural on my lips and compliments my skin. I love mixing this color with NYX Liquid Cream.
 
 
Essence Long Lasting Lipliner in the Color 02 Hot Chocolate: 
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This color gives me LIFE. This brown chocolate liner goes so well with so many of my nude “lippies” that it has become an essential. BUT, the number one reason why I love this lip liner is that I also use it as my eyebrow color. YES people, you read correct, I use this as brow liner. Three bucks can go a long way on The Selfish Column!!!
 
NYX Liquid/Cream Lipstick in the Color 07: 
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Not gonna lie, I fell onto this color. I received it as a gift and was somewhat hesitant to use it. It took me few weeks to start using it but when I did (HOLY) this has become glued to me. I adore this color, it has become my go to liquid lip cream. I use this literally daily!!! I just love love love this color. NYX has been killing the game.
Well, ladies and gents I hope you enjoyed my list for my go to makeup essentials for all your in between needs. Please know this is just the basic in makeup products that people use on a daily. My goal was to bring something that is affordable and still get’s the job done. Seeing that back to school shopping is coming up I thought these six items would be perfect for the students that are on a budget and living that campus life. Please comment and share your thoughts on these items I love hearing what other people are using out there. Have a great day my loves.
~S.C~

Should Makeup Influence Your Self Confidence?

 

Hello and welcome back to The Selfish Column everyone. Hope all is going well this week for all of you. I want to discuss with you guys one of the most popular trends of 2016. Last year we saw a rise of the no makeup look all thanks to Alicia Keys. I have read so many articles praising this movement and also read some comments criticizing it. Based on my research, I found that women were stating how relieved they were to see a star such as Alicia Keys taking a stand. Many women felt free and understood others felt unbothered and criticized Alicia Keys (myself included) for this. The reason why I felt so unbothered is because I never took makeup and the concept of it to heart. In my 25 years of life, I never looked at makeup as a way to cover up imperfections, seeing that the era which I grew up in and my worldview of it were cultural and not an insecurity. My personal belief is that makeup should be fun just like any other things in life and confidence should come from within. I know I know we hear this all the time and for some people, this can be difficult. But trust me when I say this… there is value in being your own cheerleader and most importantly there is value in being YOU. At the end of the day, whether you wear something such as makeup to make you feel better or anti-aging cream to keep the skin youthful, we all must see a value within ourselves first. The reason why I feel so compelled to state this is because I have never looked at makeup as a major part of my life, truthfully I don’t know much about makeup. Just ask any of my friends about my makeup collection and they will tell you that it is SAD. I have been using the same technique since the ninth grade and my knowledge of my makeup believe it or not is sub par…. VERY LIMITED. Due to not focusing so much on this allowed me to feel free and find other ways to boost my confidence. I learned that my confidence comes from my ability to feel useful, to gain knowledge and be intelligent. I am such a workaholic that I find myself feeling low and down about myself if I’m not useful or working. The thought of being ignorant and not being able to contribute in discussions weighs heavier on me than whether I’m wearing makeup or not.

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By now you should know where I am going with this. Having makeup will never change what’s on your mind, but it will always be a way to express yourself. I don’t see Loreal, Covergirl or Mac going out of business anytime soon. So do what makes you happy GIRL.  I am a girls girl, I love women and I think we are beyond powerful than what society portrays us to be.  We are not these simple creatures that paint our faces and pout our lips for pictures, I refuse to think we are that simple that we need a such a movement in our society.

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I end this post by saying don’t sweat the small stuff. As women, we are part of a far greater purpose than to be concern about who is wearing makeup and who is not. Anyone can wear anything….. HECK we were clothes everyday right?  but it will never be what you wear or put on that leaves a lasting impression but rather how you express yourself. I would much rather see the world that is full of dedicated, hardworking, independent, thinking, knowledgeable women who wear makeup than the world that is so focused on tearing others down for putting makeup on.

If you made it this far thank you. If you are visiting for the first time thank you as well.

As mentioned on my Instagram page I will be giving away some goodies as a thank you for your support and love.

Giveaway: 

Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb Roll on Perfume and Tom Ford Lipstick. I love the two products and thought I should share with one of you guys. Both women and men qualify.

Rules:

  1. Must follow my Instagram page
  2. Must like my Facebook page

 

 

~S.C~

 

Bracelet 4 Humanity X Selfish Column

 

 

Secrets Of Adulthood

 

~S.C~

5 Random Life Hacks For The Lazy Girl

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1. Open a separate email account for all your shopping needs.

Let’s be honest everyone wants a good deal while shopping, but sometimes that deal comes in an email form. It can be difficult to filter through your personal emails and all those daily emails from your fav brands. I’m not the one to miss out on a good deal —so one day I decided to open a separate account to provide to all my fav stores and brands while shopping.

2. Cooking in foil is an easy way to cook for one.

This is perfect for the person living on their own and is constantly on the go. Pick your choice of protein (beef, chicken or fish) add your fav veggies and let the oven do the rest.

3. Always keep a staple black pump in your car.

Last minute invitations to events can have you rushing home to change or cancelling due to time constraints. Having a pair of black pumps can change the status of your outfit from day to night without having to miss out.

4. Always keep a small amount of cash on you.

I know we live in the age of technology and plastic money, but it doesn’t hurt to have real cash on you. I tend to leave a small amount at home just in case I lose my wallet or need to get a taxi home. I know I’m thinking of the worst case scenario here, but it’s always better to think ahead.

5. Have a general cover letter saved in your email.

As young adults we often find ourselves in positions or jobs not related to our career path. The best way to ensure you are always ready for the next step is by having a BOMB cover letter highlighting your skills without overshadowing the purpose of your resume. Even the most simple position should always get a cover letter.

 

If you got this far I want to say thank you, let me know your thoughts on these hacks and and share some of yours in the comment sections.

~S.C~

How To Say No….Without Saying No

Have you ever wanted to just look at someone and ask them how they got so self entailed for so long?  I have always believed that people will go as far as you let them. If you don’t believe me look around study some people in your life and how they move and act toward you.

The concept of saying no can sometime be difficult because many of us are faced with guilt and and fear afterwards. These feeling can sometime affect your family life, your work and professional life and even your personal life. If that becomes the case, we need to take a step back and reevaluate our decision making. When you think about it, we become so consumed with other people’s needs, likes, hobbies, schedule , you forget to fill your schedule with things you really need to do to benefit you and your future. NOW I’m not saying you should go around and be a complete A-Hole to those around you. By no means do I want you to give out No’s like Oprah gave out cars in her talk show (back in the days). But I do think you should ask yourself why you are always so quick to say yes in the first place. The answer could be that you don’t have a lot of things in your life keeping you busy, or maybe you haven’t really invested in some of your own interest. Whatever the reason might be, it is always important to look into your life and see what you need to be doing before you can commit to something you might regard later.

If saying no is something you are not ready to do or comfortable with, don’t you worry your little soul out. I have crafted my five approaches I use when I need to say now without actually Using N.O.

Check out the list below and let me know what your thoughts are on it.

As always have a great rest of the week everyone :).

Five Approaches to “How To Say No…Without Saying No”

  1. Make your availability less available.
  2. Find things that interest you (could be that you simply don’t have your own hobbies)
  3. Offer a date and time that is convenient to you. ( Take control of your time and schedule)
  4. Offer an alternative way to complete the task without you being a part of it.
  5. Say Nothing.  🙂

 

~S.C~