Category: Surviving Adulting

Hey everyone and welcome back to The Selfish Column. Can you believe it is Valentine’s Day? Who doesn’t love “LOVE”!!! Better yet who doesn’t love sharing the love with everyone around them?. This year, I decided not only to celebrate Valentine’s Day but also share Galentine’s Day with my girls. What’s Galentine’s Day you ask? Well, it’s the day before V-Day; where you and your lovely girls treat each other to a day of fun, laughter, and DRINKS!! This year with the help of La Marca Prosecco I and my lovely ladies took the morning by a storm. We woke up to a lovely pancake breakfast and some good old Mimosa (what more can a girl ask for).

The day was spend sipping on some yummy bubbles, and taking in the sugar high from the cupcakes. (Remember sugar, spice, and everything Nice- (bet you can’t complete the phrase).

Who said girls can’t have fun while getting ready. Honestly, this morning was perfect, I haven’t laughed this hard and enjoyed Prosecco like I did. La Marca really came through for the kid. If you know me, you know Prosecco is not usually my go to, but with how tasty, light and smooth it was, it made for such a great start to my morning and afternoon. The great thing about this Prosecco ladies and gents, it can transition greatly throughout any event you have during the day.

Did I mention this bottle is smooooth, I mean like smoother than a fresh perm!!! Hahhhhah.  Really though the bubbles are persistent which goes perfectly with the crisp finish it adds to your taste palate.

This is the perfect bottle not only for a day like Galentine’s Day, but any other occasion coming up in your life. The year is still young and there are plenty of events to be celebrated, so why not pick up a bottle of La Marca Prosecco for the occasion.

As always thank you for stopping by and getting this far into the post. A special thanks to the girls that came to spend this Galantine’s Day with me.  I am forever at aww with the love and dedication I receive every day from all the amazing women in my life. Today was just the tip of my lifelong celebrations with so many of you.

~S.C~

Welcome back to The Selfish Column everyone, hope all is well in your world of adulting. As you can tell by the title today we are talking about that “wonderful” thing called student loan. And by wonderful I mean that life-sucking nightmare that gives false investment into your future (lol where is the lie though… RIGHT).  If you live in North America and have ever set your mind on a post-secondary education, you may have noticed the expensive price tag that comes with this decision. Don’t get me wrong, investing in your future is an incredible thing and so is continuously educating yourself.

A little About My College/University Journey

During my college years, I was living with my parents while working the weekends and summer days to pay for my classes. Living at home helped minimize my expenses while paying for school.  After graduating my college program,  I went straight to the third year of my university program and took out my first loan.  When it came time to pay it off I struggled with it because not only did I move away from home but I went back to school without informing student loan. Honestly, I did not know how to go about paying this. I fell behind and pretended that my loan didn’t exist, but that didn’t last long. Eventually, I took control of the situation and started slow. I decided to take a look at my interest rate and my income tax returns.  The best course of action for me at the time was to give my tax return back to the government. It wasn’t easy to give this cash up because tax season is always around my birthday and the reality of no more extra birthday cash was saddening ( no more stunting with my returns hahahahahah).  But I had to remind myself constantly that I lived without the income tax return money for a year and managed to survive just fine. After all, being out of debt is far more important in the long run.  So without further or do, please see below my basic tips on managing your student loan.

Tips:

1. Check when tuition is due for each semester:

This is good if you pay your own classes. This gives you time to save up and pay slowly toward your classes. I did this while in college, I made a point to treat it like a monthly bill and visited the registrar office each month to pay off a large sum.

2. Save a portion of your grants and or bursaries:

With a student loan, you get things such a grants and scholarships, I know it is money you don’t have to pay back but that doesn’t mean you can’t use a portion of it towards your student loan. 

3. Use a portion of your income tax to pay a large amount:

Most students use their income tax return as extra money to go on trips— But if you divide accordingly, you will be able to enjoy more of it in the long run.

4. Always pay on top of your interest rate:

But most importantly always AlWAYS pay on time.

5. Build a relationship with the agent that holds your account:

Call the office and find out who is assigned to your account because having a strong and honest relationship with your agent can work in your favor. Keeping them in the loop of your financial situation can avoid your account being forwarded to collections and receiving those debt collector calls that we all hate.

Thank you for getting to this point and reading the whole post. I hope you found these tips to be helpful in your student career. Some of these tips I learned from personal experience and the rest I found afterward that I thought would be useful. If you enjoy this blog post please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts on it.

Have a great week everyone.

~S.C~

Hello and welcome back to The Selfish Column everyone. Hope all is going well this week for all of you. I want to discuss with you guys one of the most popular trends of 2016. Last year we saw a rise of the no makeup look all thanks to Alicia Keys. I have read so many articles praising this movement and also read some comments criticizing it. Based on my research, I found that women were stating how relieved they were to see a star such as Alicia Keys taking a stand. Many women felt free and understood others felt unbothered and criticized Alicia Keys (myself included) for this. The reason why I felt so unbothered is because I never took makeup and the concept of it to heart. In my 25 years of life, I never looked at makeup as a way to cover up imperfections, seeing that the era which I grew up in and my worldview of it were cultural and not an insecurity. My personal belief is that makeup should be fun just like any other things in life and confidence should come from within. I know I know we hear this all the time and for some people, this can be difficult. But trust me when I say this… there is value in being your own cheerleader and most importantly there is value in being YOU. At the end of the day, whether you wear something such as makeup to make you feel better or anti-aging cream to keep the skin youthful, we all must see a value within ourselves first. The reason why I feel so compelled to state this is because I have never looked at makeup as a major part of my life, truthfully I don’t know much about makeup. Just ask any of my friends about my makeup collection and they will tell you that it is SAD. I have been using the same technique since the ninth grade and my knowledge of my makeup believe it or not is sub par…. VERY LIMITED. Due to not focusing so much on this allowed me to feel free and find other ways to boost my confidence. I learned that my confidence comes from my ability to feel useful, to gain knowledge and be intelligent. I am such a workaholic that I find myself feeling low and down about myself if I’m not useful or working. The thought of being ignorant and not being able to contribute in discussions weighs heavier on me than whether I’m wearing makeup or not.

By now you should know where I am going with this. Having makeup will never change what’s on your mind, but it will always be a way to express yourself. I don’t see Loreal, Covergirl or Mac going out of business anytime soon. So do what makes you happy GIRL.  I am a girls girl, I love women and I think we are beyond powerful than what society portrays us to be.  We are not these simple creatures that paint our faces and pout our lips for pictures, I refuse to think we are that simple that we need a such a movement in our society.

I end this post by saying don’t sweat the small stuff. As women, we are part of a far greater purpose than to be concern about who is wearing makeup and who is not. Anyone can wear anything….. HECK we were clothes everyday right?  but it will never be what you wear or put on that leaves a lasting impression but rather how you express yourself. I would much rather see the world that is full of dedicated, hardworking, independent, thinking, knowledgeable women who wear makeup than the world that is so focused on tearing others down for putting makeup on.

If you made it this far thank you. If you are visiting for the first time thank you as well.

As mentioned on my Instagram page I will be giving away some goodies as a thank you for your support and love.

Giveaway: 

Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb Roll on Perfume and Tom Ford Lipstick. I love the two products and thought I should share with one of you guys. Both women and men qualify.

Rules:

1. Must follow my Instagram page
2. Must like my Facebook page

~S.C~

Welcome back to the Selfish Column everyone, hope you all had a great weekend.  This week I wanted to talk you guys about something kind of dear to my heart and the reason why I started my blog. As many of you know by now I love the concept of self-love and independence. If you have been following this blog for awhile now, you would have come across me referencing a book called “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. When I first purchased the book almost three years ago to be exact, I really didn’t know what I was going to get out of it. The title was enticing. The first few pages really grabbed my attention and I was hooked from there. The book is about a woman (Gretchen Rubin) who decided after years of being married and having kids, was to find ways to work on the current challenges in her life in hopes it would improve her happiness. The book took you through her journey in which she set goals for herself each month and by the end of it, she calculated her accomplishments to see if this project had improved her overall happiness. I actually don’t want to give the ending away because I feel as though each person entering adulthood or even those still figuring out “adulting” should read it. I felt like this book changed my perspective as a young woman and ultimately helped me launch my blog ,”The Selfish Column”. Soon after completing the book, I asked a really  good friend of mine to help set up a blog and a platform. It was with his support and encouragement that really assisted me in going for my dream. David you rock!!!!

The first few pages of the book Gretchen made a list that really stood out for me and I thought I should share with you all. The list was called, “Secrets Of Adulthood”. Now I am not going to give the whole list away but rather share the steps that stood out for me the most. Hope you enjoyed this post and find it helpful in starting your own projects whatever it may be. Below are five keys things I found helpful from the book.

Secrets of Adulthood:

1. People don’t notice your mistakes as much as you think.
2. Most decisions don’t require extensive research.
3. By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
4. It’s okay to ask for help.
5. Happiness doesn’t alway make you happy.

If you got this far on the blog, thank you, thank you, thank you. The support is much appreciated . Special thanks to my friend David for helping me out in my journey and The Happiness Project for being my personal guide through young adulthood.

~S.C~

1. Open a separate email account for all your shopping needs.

Let’s be honest everyone wants a good deal while shopping, but sometimes that deal comes in an email form. It can be difficult to filter through your personal emails and all those daily emails from your fav brands. I’m not the one to miss out on a good deal —so one day I decided to open a separate account to provide to all my fav stores and brands while shopping.

2. Cooking in foil is an easy way to cook for one.

This is perfect for the person living on their own and is constantly on the go. Pick your choice of protein (beef, chicken or fish) add your fav veggies and let the oven do the rest.

3. Always keep a staple black pump in your car.

Last minute invitations to events can have you rushing home to change or cancelling due to time constraints. Having a pair of black pumps can change the status of your outfit from day to night without having to miss out.

4. Always keep a small amount of cash on you.

I know we live in the age of technology and plastic money, but it doesn’t hurt to have real cash on you. I tend to leave a small amount at home just in case I lose my wallet or need to get a taxi home. I know I’m thinking of the worst case scenario here, but it’s always better to think ahead.

5. Have a general cover letter saved in your email.

As young adults we often find ourselves in positions or jobs not related to our career path. The best way to ensure you are always ready for the next step is by having a BOMB cover letter highlighting your skills without overshadowing the purpose of your resume. Even the most simple position should always get a cover letter.

If you got this far I want to say thank you, let me know your thoughts on these hacks and and share some of yours in the comment sections.

~S.C~

Have you ever wanted to just look at someone and ask them how they got so self entailed for so long?  I have always believed that people will go as far as you let them. If you don’t believe me look around study some people in your life and how they move and act toward you.

The concept of saying no can sometime be difficult because many of us are faced with guilt and and fear afterwards. These feeling can sometime affect your family life, your work and professional life and even your personal life. If that becomes the case, we need to take a step back and reevaluate our decision making. When you think about it, we become so consumed with other people’s needs, likes, hobbies, schedule , you forget to fill your schedule with things you really need to do to benefit you and your future. NOW I’m not saying you should go around and be a complete A-Hole to those around you. By no means do I want you to give out No’s like Oprah gave out cars in her talk show (back in the days). But I do think you should ask yourself why you are always so quick to say yes in the first place. The answer could be that you don’t have a lot of things in your life keeping you busy, or maybe you haven’t really invested in some of your own interest. Whatever the reason might be, it is always important to look into your life and see what you need to be doing before you can commit to something you might regard later.

If saying no is something you are not ready to do or comfortable with, don’t you worry your little soul out. I have crafted my five approaches I use when I need to say now without actually Using N.O.

Check out the list below and let me know what your thoughts are on it.

As always have a great rest of the week everyone :).

Five Approaches to “How To Say No…Without Saying No”

1. Make your availability less available.
2. Find things that interest you (could be that you simply don’t have your own hobbies)
3. Offer a date and time that is convenient to you. ( Take control of your time and schedule)
4. Offer an alternative way to complete the task without you being a part of it.
5. Say Nothing.  🙂

~S.C~

This year hasn’t even ended and I feel as if I have gone through such a tremendous transformation. Most of those changes are mainly mentally and psychologically, you know… (the personal stuff). There were a lot’s pep talks and late night thinking after my birthday regarding what I need to plan for the next few years. Truthfully I went through a phase where I felt so low about myself and not feeling good enough about my accomplishments thus far. But in true fashion of me and my theme for this blog I got myself out this funk REAL Quick. I started looking at what  I can do,  instead of what I should have been doing.  As most of you all know by now following this blog I love making lists, it helps me clear my mind make my ideas clear. Below are a list of 5 things  I feel every female in her 20s (doesn’t matter what stage they are in) should consider.

As always thank you for stopping by. I will see you guys all next week.

1. Make a Meeting With Your Bank/ Financial Adviser:

Single or not, us girls need to get our finances in order, don’t be the girl that needs saving  from a man or anyone else to be exact. Get real with your savings. I think there is something damaging about all the work pervious women have done to get equal rights when I  hear another woman speak about a man as a walking a bank account.

2. Declutter your life/ Mainly Your Closet:

You wouldn’t believe the things I found in my closet after I started going through it. I had so many things I was holding on to from High school— I actually took stuff from my parent’s home and moved them across the country with me. Believe it or not I found jeans I bought in grade school in there. I mean I’m proud that it still fits, but also shows the amount of evolving I made since then. Sad when you think about it that way huh? … lol.

3. Take Trip By Yourself…For yourself:

Let’s not forget that we were born with our own two eyes. It’s only fair we put them to use while we can. How you  feel is not always how another person feels, same goes for what you see. I am always envious of those that constantly travel for work alone. They are forced to explore and learn about the places they are at.

4. Never stop Educating Yourself:

Whatever field you’re in or plan to get in, always educate yourself outside the classroom. It never hurt’s to learn about something you never heard about before. I think there is something powerful about bringing something different to the table.Knowledge is sexy and should NEVER be slept on. Check out your local bookstore next time you’re out. This blog idea actually came from a book I randomly picked up at bookstore three years ago.

5.  Start Using a Day Planner:

Let’s get real, some of us have that one day planner that looks cute but never have been used. We get so excited when the beginning of the year comes around and we buy day planners either for work or school only to realize that half way through the year it has not been used. Trust me, I was guilty of this too, it wasn’t until March (around my birthday) I became serious about this. I am all over the place —and if you’re like me open that day planner ASAP.

~S.C~

This whole year I decided I would buy  myself a gift each month. These gifts can come in the forms of food ( cause food is life), travelling, shoes, household items, clothes, and of course books.

The benefit of buying your own gifts is that you always get what you want. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy receiving gifts, but there is something about working hard for something that is goddamn rewarding. I plan to not hold back and go all out for myself this year. Lets be honest, our birthdays comes once a year and there is no need to wait a whole year to have something you want or quite frankly need.  Think of the burden you put on those around you and the expectation you place on them. Unless the conversation was had before hand, there is no need for a grown person with a job to expect their friends and family to buy them something all the time. Notice I said EXPECT. We can not assume that the budget for ourselves is what everyone is working with. We are only responsible for our wants and need,  and that’s a fact.

Fun Reason Why Buying Yourself Gifts Works:

1.  You always get what you want
2.  You never have to wait for it; and if you do the wait can be so damn fulfilling
3.  You can always return it without offending anyone
4.  You can actually re-gift (guilt free) and you wont get caught (lol)
5.  Cause you are allowed to treat yourself.